Saturday, September 23, 2006

I have been thinking today. It is not usual for me to lie on the bed for hours doing nothing but thinking. Anyway, it is a fruitful one and I have finally come to a decision.

I will leave my past behind.

Don't get me wrong. My past has been good. So good in fact that it makes me reluctant to let go. I dwelve in it from time to time. There are even times that I will boldly hope to go back again.

But this dwelving has lead me nowhere but stuck at a stationary point. Sure, my life goes on but my heart is trapped. I am not living fully in the present. I gamble between my past and present and in the process, I think I have messed up many heads including my own.

So, I need to let you go. You have been great but I really need to get away from your shadow and into the light. I know my decision is a gamble. It may or may not bring the result I want. But it is a risk that I am willing to take.

I will leave my past and live my present.

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